loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Someone came in the potted fern
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
