I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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