Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
