true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
