You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
