apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
