woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize