I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I met the friendliest cop last night
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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