you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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