no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
