He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
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Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
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Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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