Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
