Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
