I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize