And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize