im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Dual....:-)
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
