I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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