biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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