Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize