I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
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There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
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Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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