is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
