if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
