ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
