Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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