K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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