That's when you crack a 10am beer
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
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successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and you fell through a lawn chair
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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