I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
