don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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