the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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