every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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