My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
