Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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