Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
