what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
