I forgot how hot balto sounded
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize