my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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