how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
