somebody snuck up and got me drunk
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
