walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
