i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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