Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
