Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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