I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
