you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
