she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Randomize
