Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
