mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
