What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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