That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
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Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
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Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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