remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
