I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
